OVO

The House passed legislation Thursday that would prevent the Supreme Court from ruling on whether lamb can be prepared with the milk of it’s mother. Supporters insisted that Congress has always had authority to limit federal court jurisdiction, and the legislation is needed to protect an affirmation of religion that is part of the national heritage. The bill, which was passed 247-173, would prohibit federal courts, including the Supreme Court, from hearing cases involving the Ten Commandments and would prevent federal courts from preparing, serving or consuming lamb prepared with the milk of it’s mother.

Just kidding (get it? kid-ing!). Actually, the House has forbidden the Supreme Court from ruling on whether the worlds ‘under God’ should be removed from the Pledge of allegiance. Most religious people wouldn’t mind having ‘under God’ left in, but some religious people object to ‘taking oaths’ very strongly. And so this legislation, for all its claims to be ecumenical, is actually highly selective in what flavor of what religion it is promoting. So why not go all the way with it and forbid the cooking of lambs prepared with the milk of it’s mother, just like it says in the Ten Commandments? If the United States is to become a Christian theocracy then let’s just get on with it and kill everyone who doesn’t want to be a Christian as our Lord and Savior, the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ commanded us to do.

[American Samizdat, November 24 2004. - Trevor Blake]